Nicotine AU
by twent47blue
Summary: How far would you for someone you love? How much would you endure? Characters are OOC, this is an AU fic and BL.Please read the warning before criticizing. Thank you.


Rating: 18+

Disclaimer: I don't own Junjou Romantica or any of its characters, this is just a fan made fic based on the original. Warnings: Its a little AU and a little OOC so sorry, this story was a bit rushed, I hope I gave it a good ending.

Author's Note: This is for the Fic Me, Fic Me contest in Aarin Fantasy. Since no one reads the warning in the first part of the label, I decided to put it here. Like it said in the warning, it is AU and the characters are a little OOC, and this is a bit rushed to meet the deadline. So if you are not satisfied with the story please don't leave nasty comments, please read the warnings first. It is fan made, and I am a novice writer, English is also not my native tongue, so please be gentle if you see any grammar error or tenses problem. I am trying to improve, so I still need practice. Please be gentle. Thank you. Oh, if you're not into YAOI, BL or male and male fiction, pass this by.

Tags: Miyagi x Shinobu

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He is someone he could never let go. Despite of the consequences Yo Miyagi abandoned all reasoning and let himself fall. Why of all people it had to be him? Is there really no God at all? He often asked himself that all the time. He had lasted over a year, in a marriage where there is no love, why, people who are close to him would often ask, but often times he would just give them a shrug and smile his enigmatic smile.

With Hiroki he is always the joker, he loves teasing his serious friend, whom he knew is really a wonderful and passionate person inside. He often flirt with him to the extent that the younger man who always comes to fetch him or happen to be living in his co-professor's apartment would send him death glares, though Hiroki would deny it, even if hell freezes over, he wouldn't admit it that, that person is his lover, though its so obvious with Nowaki being so possessive of him. And Yo would wonder if he would also come to be close to his distant crush that way. Crush? He chuckled to himself, at this age, he wondered if it still applies to someone as old as he does, or that would only be reserved for people in high school. Yo tried not to laugh aloud and scared Hiroki and think he had gone insane laughing aloud with all the serious stuff they were doing now. Ironically, the person he is in love with is a high school student. Love. Yes, though for Yo, it goes much deeper than that, if he could find the right words to express what he truly feels, the word love itself tends to lack the gravity and depth of his feelings for this person.

Shinobu hated him. Of course, he would, because of all the people in the world, he had become in the Takatsuki household, as the user, heart breaker, and flippant playboy that some of the rumor mongers decided to call him. He didn't try to defend himself nor explain, though he had talked to his ex wife, though he didn't admit it, in not so many words, he is indeed in love with someone else. As to who, he would carry it to his grave than to admit that it was her baby brother who is the object of his desire. Desire, yes, that is all Yo, could think of, it is an itch, and once he would get the chance to be alone with the boy, he was sure it would go away. He also did wonder if this has something to do with Hiroki, and discovering his other taste. He didn't mind it, probably, justifying again, and rationalizing with himself, that he is also the same as his friend, that despite being married once, and despite of the numerous women who had come and went from his bed, he would fall so hard and helplessly in love with another man or rather a boy, and not only that, his ex-brother-in-law, how pathetic and low could he get? It is too much even for him. But he had been contemplating over it for the last two years of his life, since the day he met him, it was when his ex had invited him over for dinner to meet the family, he wasn't even nervous, and had the confident to charm and meet everyone.

But when he was introduced to this feisty looking young man, he suddenly became uncertain of what he is and who he is in love with. It was like a magnetic force, gravity; he calls it, pulling him to the boy's epicenter. He is that and more. This boy is the driving force inside of him, that he would move and do everything, just for him, if the boy wishes it and wills it, he would grant anything, give up anything, and do anything, if Shinobu ask. It was when he suddenly felt all those symptoms they were talking about, in the movies, in pocket books of romance novels, in women's magazine with dating tips, it was the pop, and the way your heart would race and you just could not take your eyes off that person. That is how it happened; he felt his heart was pounding so loud, he thought that anyone next to him would hear it. Then with discreet glances, he would make side way looks and gaze at him, and often whenever the boy would say something, his head would snap in full attention, and find himself hanging on to his every word. Since that day, Yo had made a vow to himself, which in the past and in the future, his whole being is devoted to this person. His only god. He had tried everything. Even deceiving his ex wife and wasn't even feeling guilty about it, when he would bend over backwards, and let it show that he is trying to bond with his new brother-in-law, he would often offer to fetch him at school, buy things for Shinobu which he thinks that the boy likes. But despite of all his efforts, though his intentions were different, and yes, he is lying to his teeth, the boy would still be stubborn, and reject him. He then discovers that he has a little bit of a sister complex, so its not really him, that is the problem, but whoever it is that his sister would be link to, he would loathe and hate with all his might for stealing his precious sister away. The older Takatsuki dotes on him, even long before they had already broken up, the older man never changed, though he probably didn't care if he and his daughter broke up, he is after all, one of the top man in his department, in which the Takatsuki senior is the dean and principal of the entire school. The older Takatsuki had taken a liking to him, even way before he had begun dating his daughter. He and Hiroki are his favorites, but him especially since he is more approachable to the man than his friend is.

Yo had often wondered if there is a system, a formula or a textbook for all of these, something that would explain his dilemma. But to no avail, no matter if he dedicate his life trying to decipher his feelings, it remains unexplainable and would only come up with one answer, that he is in love. He is in love with another male, and it is his ex brother-in-law.

His dedication and persistence paid off, when Shinobu would not snap at him or would not have a colorful come back to anything he says. He thinks he is starting to affect the boy somehow, and to someone like Yo it is an accomplishment. He had women, all the types that he likes and do not like, but he never had a problem like this before. He would not say because Shinobu is young, because he is pretty close to some of his students, and somehow get along with them, in and out of campus. He often believe that if he takes the time to understand them, it would pay off, and it did, his students would often joke around with him, invite him to their frat parties, but during class, they respect him as the professor and would stick to class until they are let out and they could be friends again.

Little by little, Shinobu began to loosen up, he will not make side comments now when he fetches him at school, he would get to put his hand on the boy's shoulder, not long, but it is enough for him. Just a bit. Just a touch, a glance, a look, a whiff of his boyishly teenager smell, these are Yo's little treasures that he would cherish every single day, and often look forward as to how far he would get with Shinobu that day. But this isn't enough. Not for him. He had taken back his old habits of sleeping around, even try to sleep around with girls from another school, but still, even if they are young as Shinobu and they are very pretty, the appeal of smooth young skin, breast that he could fondle to his content, tightness he could crave for, its not enough, its not as good, as a touch of Shinobu's shoulder, or a brush of his arm, or a glint of the boy's smile, which never reaches a full smile, especially when he is concerned.

He heard devastating news, it sounded so surreal that it took him a long while to accept it as true. No, not Shinobu, he prayed. He was even willing to give him up, if it means that this horrible thing would just go away. He would sacrifice his feelings, if it means that Shinobu would be all right.

Shinobu had mellowed a bit. His father had requested to his teachers that he be refrained for taking any outdoor activities that would require physical effort. They try to break it to him gently, but he was a little angry and sad that he was the last one to know. And he really wished his parents did not do what they did. He did not want pity, he hated seeing his classmates and people whispering about him, and glancing at him, he hated it when his friends had become so guarded when it comes to dealing with him. He wondered at first if it was something he had done, but when his mother had told him the truth. He had lashed out at them and blamed them for everything.

He had to get out of that house, but where would he go? He does not have any friends, and if there is one he is close to, he did not think he would impose on this stranger if he would take him in. It was then he thought of Yo Miyagi.

He cut his class. He had already packed his bag and brought some clothes. He did not tell anyone. Especially not Yo. So that in case his parents would ask him, it would be authentic when they look at his face to see if he is lying and not really know where Shinobu is.

He is hungry. He had not eaten anything the whole day. In his haste, he had forgotten to buy food, he did not want to leave the door, he was afraid he would miss Yo and he would not know how to reach him. He propped his bag by the door, making sure that Yo would not be able to open the door unless he wakes him up. He waited and tried as hard as he could to keep his eyes open, but exhaustion took over his body and he fell asleep, crouched into a ball, trying so hard to keep the cold out.

Yo at first, did not register in his head, that that someone who is laying on the floor of someone else's doorstep that it was his door, and that boy was Shinobu. He was exhausted, he was too distracted to go to work that he had to tell his afternoon classes, that he is not feeling well and would be taking the rest of the day off. He had borrowed the class directory to go to every classmate of Shinobu in the list, no one knows if he has friends at school, often times he would not be talking to girls and mostly keep to himself. But it was probably Yo's influence that he had begun to loosen up at school and started talking to some of his classmates, though he won't hang out with them, but he would kid around and talk with them. He was exhausted, he had gone to everyone in the list, and went to places he thought Shinobu would hang out. No one had seen him, not one of his classmates knows where he hangs out. He is very secretive and a little aloof still but he had come a long way after he had come to know Yo Miyagi.

Yo dropped his coat and run towards the door, "Shinobu." He uttered under his breath. He wanted to hug him and shower him with kisses. But of course he refrained from doing that, afraid to be rejected. He did not think he would survive it if Shinobu did push him away. He could stand his harsh words, his feisty attitude but he knew it was all a façade. He knew underneath it all, is just a scared young man thirsting for love and affection. Even his sister complex is also a defense mechanism, a protest and a cry for attention. He knew all of these, he knew since that day, that faithful day. That if he persisted and stayed by him, he would get to meet the real Shinobu. Nevertheless, he wondered now if he still has time. He wondered now if he could get close, and not be rejected. That now, after all these time, his feelings would be answered and rewarded.

The boy stirred, hearing that familiar voice, and that faint scent of nicotine. That is one of the things he hate about Yo, he always smells of cigarette, on his clothes and breathe, but that is also one of the things that makes him stands out among the other people that Shinobu mingles with and tolerates. He had stopped tolerating the older man, and had started to look forward to each time he would get to spend it with the man. Yo is the only man in his life that remained constant and unchanged, and despite of Yo thinking that he is clueless about things, that he is naïve and innocent, if only Yo knew how perverted he could be. He is a growing boy after all; he has tons of porn mags under his mattress, videos and videos of gay, mature flicks that are hidden under the false bottom of his closet. He also has a fake ID and would frequent a certain bar that caters to people with a certain taste. Nevertheless, he never tried it with an older man before, he do not like it, especially if the old man would start pawing at him. The only older man that he allows to be close to him was Yo. He had fooled around with another boy of his age that he had been dancing with all night, and they had too much to drink that they end up clumsily jerking each other off, they are both virgins, and Shinobu did not want to give up anything for a stranger, he wanted someone else to be his first. He had made up his mind long ago. Moreover, he wants it to be Yo. But he doubt that the other man would even dare do things to him, he feared that his father would surely fire him, not only did he ruin his only daughter and now he is messing with his only son. He would surely be jailed. However, if no one knows, but if he did it right, he could get away with it. Moreover, he could force or cajoled Yo to do everything he wants, things he had often fantasize about but did not have the right someone to do it with. He wanted his first to be perfect; he wanted it to be someone whom he had feelings with. He wanted it to be Yo.

He rubbed his eyes and looked at him, he snuggled to the man's chest, and said, "I'm hungry and tired, where you were? You took so long to get home, you're late." Shinobu whined.

Yo had mixed feelings going through his chest right at that moment, but the top most of it is relief, he felt so relieved that he is okay and the first person he would run to was him. He felt elated at that moment, and the reason why this boy run away, had been forgotten, well, it slipped his mind when the boy had snuggled to him, the very first time that Shinobu had ever been this close to him physically. He chuckled nervously, probably to disguise the beating of his heart, knowing that Shinobu would probably not only feel it but hear it.

"Well, I'm sorry, Shinobu. I was looking all over for you, I was so worried, I don't know what happened, you should have called and I would have come right away." He said, gently, and touched the boy's head, he shifted so that he could lightly kiss the top of his head in the process of lifting him in his arms and carry him inside.

"Let's go inside. I need to call your family. I need to let them know you are safe." He said, as he kicked the door close while he gently carried his precious cargo inside his house.

Shinobu came alive and grabbed the collar of his shirt, "No, don't tell anyone I'm here, I would run away again, and this time, no one is going to find me. Promise me you won't tell anyone, especially my family, swear to me, Yo! Swear to me!" he demanded, his face dancing with all emotions that Yo hugged him tighter to himself.

"I promise. You can stay here as long as you want. I would take a leave until you decide you are ready to go home." He said, smiling gently at him.

Then the boy suddenly grabbed for his neck, and pulled him, he crushed his lips on the older man's, Yo let out a groan, his body shook, and he teetered a little and almost dropped to his knees and lose his grip on the boy. Weakly he pulled away, letting out a choked up cry, "N-No! What are you doing Shin?" he asked, his eyes a little bright from unshed tears, as Yo searched his face for reasons.

The younger man was confused, thinking this is what the man wanted so why did he pull away from him. "What? Didn't you like how I kissed? Am not as good as my sister?" he asked sarcastically, as he pushed him away roughly and untangled himself from his embrace.

Yo could only watched him, he ran a hand through his already unruly hair, one of his habits, as shaking fingers fished out a cigarette, and lighted it, as he sunk on to the couch. He watched Shinobu as he explored the house, touching and looking at stuff.

He was right. He said to himself, this is what he wanted and how could it felt so weird and wrong? Yo was startled when Shinobu pushed him roughly down the couch, he was about to protest when he saw that the boy was holding a hunting knife. "Wh-What are you doing? Where did you get that?" he asked, a little uncertain if he would try to wrestle the knife away from the boy or just wait and see what he was about to do, he was so out of it when he didn't pay attention to what the boy was doing, using his own tie, Shinobu tied his wrists above his head, "Don't move, I'm not very good at using this yet, who knows what would happen if you try to get this away from me." The boy said, with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

The older man just watched him, wondered what kind of game is this boy playing, its causing havoc on his insides, his emotions are being pulled from different directions as he try as much as he could not to go with his hidden desires, and still control his active libido. He let out a slow intake of breath, his muscles and trembling, as his breathing became labored when the boy started to pop the buttons of his shirt using the knife.

The boy chuckled a bit, his eyes dancing with delight, he was about to ask if he is enjoying himself, making fun of an old man, but he remained silent and just watched him, beads of perspiration started to roll down his face, even though the centralize air conditioning is on, and the air is cool on his bare skin, Shinobu ran the knife down his chest, circling around a nipple then another, he snickered again, as he got a treat when Yo's muscles constrict and he would rise up and down, because he was straddling the older man.

Shinobu must admit that Yo is very good-looking, probably why he is enjoying himself tremendously, as he would finally get a taste of something forbidden. He moved the knife against Yo's neck, making sure he knows that he is serious.

Yo did not expect when the boy leaned forward and started to lick and suck on the side of his neck and the other hand started to explore his body. He let out a low moan. As his body started to shiver and tremble, his eyes fluttered close and his mouth open in a silent cry of pleasure. The boy started to get into what he was doing, the knife was dropped as he was eager to touch and feel the older man's body, his breathing had become labored as well, and Yo was too distracted to notice but Shinobu was feeling the tightening of his pants, and is now rubbing against Yo's.

The boy slithered down the man's body, he begun to suck on a nipple, eliciting a moan from Yo, he is so sexy. The boy thought as he stole a glance at the older man, as he began to pleasure the other's body. Yo had forgotten to resist, he was already too weak to do anything, but let the boy do as he pleases.

The older man had a vague memory of hearing some clinking noise only to realize that Shinobu was undoing his belt and removing his pants, he bucked his hips and struggled with his bounds, but the boy had made sure that he had secure it to the arm rest, tying it to the metal bar that was there.

"Shin, no!" he cried out, as he struggled and watch the boy undress himself, he was panicking, to even take a moment and admire the view, he had been waiting for this moment to finally have one of his fantasies fulfilled, even though this is not the situation he had in mind, he couldn't help but feel so aroused by the way that the younger man had handled this situation.

Shinobu just smiled, chuckling a little, daring Yo to do something when he finally spread the older man's legs apart.

"Just enjoy it, Yo. I am, very much." He said, as took the taut, hard and weeping member in his hand, watching the man tremble, panting, and looking at him with slit eyes. He had never seen anyone as beautiful as Yo is right now. Although beautiful is not how you describe a man, but to Shinobu, right that moment, he really thinks that Yo is the most sexy and beautiful man he had ever seen.

Yo struggled some more to no avail. He stopped and let out a cry when Shinobu took his entire length in his mouth. When the boy started to bob his head up and down his heated flesh, Yo could swear he felt his brain melting. He had never in his life felt something so good, he could hardly keep himself from not to start to thrust his hips into those glorious hot mouth, the boy didn't mind a bit, in fact, he even sucked on him harder, encouraging him to move faster in his mouth. They were both moaning now, one is sweet, blissful surrender, while the other was totally into the new addiction he had been craving for and now have.

It wasn't long when Yo finally released his sweet juice in his mouth, Shinobu had never tasted cum before, he drew back, but he swallowed it, despite that Yo was trying to pull away and protesting to let him go, until he had no choice, the pain of holding back was so unbearable, when the boy clamped on him even harder, he had no choice but to relieve himself.

The boy sat up, licking his lips, as he finished licking and cleaning the older man of his juice, he smiled down at Yo, he was a little awed, because despite of already releasing, the man is still rock hard, and he couldn't help it and wondered what it would feel like to have that thing inside of him.

"Untie me." Yo said, looking at him seriously. The boy did what he was told, and he let out a surprised yelp when Yo pushed him back in the couch and started to kiss him hard, stealing his breath away, he moaned into the kiss and wrapped his small arms around Yo. Yo tasted himself in his mouth, making him more needy and wanton, he had forgotten what he vowed to do, he had sworn to himself that he won't act on his feelings, that all he would do is watch and admire from afar. However, the boy had pushed him too far, too far that he almost lost his sanity just watching the boy do all those things to him. As for the young man, he was grinning to himself, as he could feel the need in Yo's action, he knew then that Yo had finally snapped and had stopped resisting and going to the flow of things. Now this is what he had in mind, he was proud of himself for directing the man to do what he hoped he would do.

He showered his body with kisses, mirroring what he had done earlier, the boy never felt this way before, this way better than jerking off with someone, or someone was jerking him off. Yo was good, and he couldn't help but follow that hot mouth that was burning trails down his body, he was squirming and moaning, writhing in pleasure as Yo continued to conquer his body and marked it as his.

He run his hand over the older man's hair as Yo divided his legs, looking up and grinning, "You're so hard, and leaking," he commented, as he reached out and run his hand over the entire length, making the boy cry out in pleasure.

When Yo gave it a light squeeze, rubbing his thumb over the small hole, Shinobu cried out and arch his body towards him, "Ahhh…Yo, take me…please….ahhhh…." he cried and beg, like an addict demanding a fix.

Yo did not say anything else, but lowered his head and continued to worship his only god's body. The boy let out another series of moan when, using Shinobu's own precum as lube, his finger started to rubbed his small entrance. This was the time when he knew that the man was truly experienced and knew how to make anyone lust for him even more. He was too wired and struggling with the pain in his groins, and Yo was even enticing it even more with that experienced mouth, he came in seconds.

The boy was still panting a bit, when he watched Yo stood to his full height, His hands over both of the boy's knees as he spread his legs even further.

"We're not done yet. You wanted this so bad, so let me show what you been craving for all this time." He commented as he continued to rubbed the opening even more, making it yield to him, the boy started to chant his name like some form of mantra, as the older man slipped his finger inside of him, and started to thrust it in and out of his hungry hole, he began to whimper, tears welled up at his eyes, he wanted to tell him how wonderful it felt, but he was too choked up with that glorious feeling that despite his struggling to formulate words, but all he could muster are more louder moans as Yo started to scissor fingers inside of him, opening him wider. The boy could not take it anymore as he cummed again, for how many times, he lost count, all he could think of is Yo, and the feeling that man was giving him. He continued to buck his hips and meet those experienced fingers.

"More, Yo. I want you inside of me." Shinobu cried out, in his whiny yet seductive voice, the only voice he would listen to.

Yo felt himself twitch, as he uttered a reply, "Yes, my love." He said, as he slowly positioned himself, looking for something to lubricate himself some more, he eyed the bowl of peaches he ate last night, there were still syrup left in it, he used it and was generous with it, to be sure that he won't hurt the boy, well, he was sure that he had prepared him enough to be sure. He knew that Shin was a virgin, and he would be gentle.

Then slowly eased his way inside of him, Shinobu let out a startled cry, but he continued to breath and relax, he had learned a lot from the videos he watched and from the magazines he had been reading, he knew that he had to relax if its his first time, he felt so full, and it hurts, but not as much as he expected it to be, he was sure then that Yo knew what he was doing. Yo on the other hand was holding his breath, it took a lot of will power not to ram himself inside of the boy who is so tight. It was a glorious feeling much more than he expected him to be.

He was even a little surprise when Shinobu moved his hips, when he was staying still making sure that the boy had adjusted to him. "Move, Yo. Make me feel good." He said, as he reached out and gripped his arm.

Yo nodded and began to move in slow, even pace at the start until he began to speed up. He came the second time after a few minutes, and he was about to pull out when Shinobu demanded that he still wanted more.

They made love all through out the night. Experimenting different positions and satisfied each other's lust. Until they fell asleep, still connected to each other. It was the boy's moaning that woke him up the next day, he saw him clutching at his head. He bolted up the bed, and reach for him, "Where's your medication, Shin? Did you bring it?" he asked frantically.

"M-My bag, pocket." The boy replied weakly. Yo stumbled out of bed, his eyes wild in search as to where the boy dropped his bag. He had remembered what happened last night, as if he was drunk from the spell that had enveloped them last night. He saw the bag, along with the discarded clothes they had literarily dropped all over the place, they were so passionate last night, so lustfully attacking each other with primal need to connect, to be one with each other. He hardly recognized himself. He knelt down, and rummaged through the pockets, tears were falling down his face. Shinobu was sick. His father-in-law said he has a brain tumor, but luckily, they discovered it in time, he is scheduled for an operation, there are a million chances he might not make it, there is also another million that he would, but there are some consequences if he did and whatever it is, they do not know yet. The boy had overheard the teachers whispering about him, and confronted his father about it, that is when he found out that Shinobu ran away.

He did not call them; he was true to his words. A little selfish of him, he knows. But he wanted to honor his promise to him, he wanted to covet those precious time that the boy has, he wanted to create a memory of his time with him. Before the operation, he wanted to be able to have something to cherish, how little, how insignificant to anyone it may be, but to Yo Miyagi it is enough. He got the medicine, run to the kitchen, and grabbed a bottled water. Running back to the bedroom.

"Here, Shin. Come on, sit up, and drink this." He said, as he gently nudges the boy and helped him sit up.

Shinobu drank the medicine gratefully, looked up to him, and smiled. "Thank you, Yo." He said, and snuggled to him and went back to sleep.

Yo was quiet for a moment, he did not move where he was, he grabbed the blanket and covered him up, that is when he saw the marks he had left on the boy's body. And he remembered it suddenly, like a jarring bump in his head, the passion they had shared last night, came suddenly like a movie in a fast forward motion. And Shinobu's moan was echoing in his head. His body shook, as he turned to the night table and hunt for a cigarette. What have I done? He asked himself repeatedly. His fingers holding the stick shook, as he took a puff after puff.

The boy woke up some time later, to the smell of the smoke that was Yo's cigarette. He stretched and embraced him by the waist. "You know those cigarette is going to kill you." He commented, the body he was holding stiffened. He then looked up, and saw his face.

He was not expecting that look on Yo's face. He thought he would be happy, and he thought that the man would finally voice out his true feelings and not wait for him to demand it from him. He eyed the ashtray that was brimming with cigarette butts. He must have smoked the entire pack, he knew he was not asleep that long, and Yo had been sitting there and letting him sleep on his lap.

Yo put out the cigarette, he changed his mood immediately, smiling, hiding the worried and guilty face he had been wearing when the boy stirred. "You must be hungry, how about something to eat?" he asked, as he stroke the boy's head gently.

Shinobu crossed his arms across his chest, "You know I hate it when you put that plastic smile on your face. I am not a stranger, Yo. And to tell you frankly, I know that you got the hots for me all along, so you didn't need to be like this. I wanted it, or else I wouldn't have forced myself on you." He said, and glared at him.

Yo chuckled nervously, "You know for awhile there, I thought I must have brought home a different boy, and not my brother-in-law." He said, and blushed when he realized what he called him. Yes, they were common law brothers, so why did he do what he did last night?

"Hmmp!" Shinobu grunted and tried to get up, only to land on his butt in the process. "Owwie." He whimpered, he glared once more at the older man.

"Help me up." He demanded before Yo got up and the blanket dropped from his waist, revealing his naked form to the boy, they both blushed, realizing now what they did. "I would really leave if you don't change that attitude." He blurted out, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, don't leave me." He said, gently as he scooped him up in his arms.

"For a brat you got some spunk, seducing me, putting a knife at my throat and forcing me to rape you." Yo said, regaining his composure.

"You didn't rape me, I wanted it. Or else I would not have demanded it from you. You have to admit that I did not force you that much, you wanted it too, and I am just confirming what I have suspected all along. Give me a little credit, I know you want me, right?" he said, and stabbed a finger on the man's chest.

Yo chuckled some more, "Right. Point taken. You know, you shouldn't get up like you did, it was your first time, and you will be sore for a few days." He said, grinning at him.

The boy nodded, as Yo got them back on the bed. They were quiet for a while, while the boy snuggled against him, rubbing his body against the other, Yo let out a low moan. The boy smiled and rubbed himself against him some more. "I'm hungry." He said, as he straddled the other's hips, looking at him with a pout, and ran a finger down the man's chest, circling a nipple. Yo looked at him, his breathing heavy.

"Th-Then let me get you something to eat." He replied, his voice quivered as Shinobu continued to rubbed his own lax member against the man's growing one, and his hands were all over Yo's body now.

"Who said anything about food, I was thinking of something else." The boy said, leaning forward, and sucking on the man's neck, he squirmed and made sure that he would rub his butt against the man's growing hardness. Yo moaned some more, holding him, and gripping the boy's arms.

"You're still sore." He said, in a low voice, trying as hard as he could to hold himself back.

"But I want to." He whined, as he sat up, took hold of Yo's member, and started to stroke it. "You pretend you didn't want it, but this one won't lie to me, I bet its itching to be inside of me." He said, and moaned in pleasure as Yo's member began to twitch in his hand.

Yo grabbed him and gently laid him back on the bed. "Alright, but let me make love to you slow and proper, I don't want to be an animal and hurt you." He said, and started to kiss him slow kisses, and little nips. The boy moaned, "I don't care, I want you now." Shinobu said, between pants, though he really is feeling a little sore, he still really want it every time the man would touch him and kiss him. And he longed for that feeling that Yo had given him last night, those feeling he had been feeling when he felt the man dancing inside of him.

Yo made love to him slow and gentle, he is expressing his feelings to the way he touched him and the way he moved inside of him. He didn't know if he could continue doing this knowing that the boy needed to be checked in the hospital to run some tests, maybe during this time he could convince him to do just that. The boy's family had meant well but the boy was right saying that he did not want it the same way that they had done it. He did not want pity, he did want attention, but not because he was pitied but because he was loved and wanted. Therefore, for the time that Shinobu would be there, he would show him that, even if after this, and after the operation, everything would change between then. It would not matter, just as long as he could give him this, for Yo, it would be enough.

A week went by so suddenly, he finally convinced the boy to tell his family that he is staying there, and no, he will not go to work and would be there with him so he would not be bored, for a week, he told the boy, they would do everything he wanted to do. He had asked his father-in-law that and the old man agreed to it, and told him to make him happy and yes, to convince him to get himself checked in for the operation.

Yo felt like he was in a dream, he could hardly believe that this is happening, that Shinobu would be so open and honest with his feelings, he was walking on cloud nine for those days that they had spent together. They would go on trips, and does stuff like lovers often do, he had forgotten for that week that Shinobu is not truly his, for Yo what is important is to show the boy what is in his heart. And even if after the operation, things would change, he would still be happy, that for that week, he made him happy, for that week this boy is his and he is the boy's. He truly wish things would not changed, that this dream would continue from one day to the next, but he knew things couldn't last he hoped it would.

Yo was quiet, he was out in the patio smoking a stick, looking out in the balcony, he felt small hands encircled him. He leaned back and breathes him in. "What are you doing out here, its cold?" he said, as turned to face him and kissed him. He was about to kiss him, when the boy wrinkled his nose. Remembering that the boy hated the smell of cigarette. "Sorry, I would brush my teeth first." He said, about to move away, "Come inside, you would catch cold." He said, pulling at his arm that was still wrapped around him.

"I wish you would listen to me and stopped smoking. I know it's a hard habit to break, but could you at least try?" Shinobu asked.

Yo looked at him, and smiled. "I could quit entirely for you, but I got to have something for quitting." He said, as he pinched his nose.

"Alright, just as long as you wouldn't ask me to join the hundred meter dash, I could make some sacrifices too." He said.

"Could you go to the hospital for me, and have that operation?" he asked gently, and was about to pull away but he grabbed him.

"Please, Shin. I know its asking too much, but for me, please. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Can you trust me just once more? In the past and in the future, my whole being is devoted to you. The only god I have in my heart is you, you command me, rule me, everything that I am is yours and yours alone, all I ask is this something, I want you well, and this would stop your family from being protected of you. I promise after your operation I would ask them if you could live with me." He said, and not adding the rest of his sentence, _if after all of that, you remember me, remember us._

Shinobu was quiet as he contemplates what the older had said to him. "Alright. But you have to stop smoking right now, and you have to go with me, I could demand that, right? After all it is my skull that they are going to crack open." He said, shuddering a little.

Yo smiled and kissed him, "Yes, everything you want, my god, everything you wish would be yours, as I am yours." He said.

They had three days left when Shinobu asked his father to schedule for the operation, and then he told him that he wanted Yo to be there, to be holding his hand during the operation. His father did not hesitate to say yes to the weird set up, just as long as Yo got him to agree to the operation, which is all that matters to him. True to his promised, Yo started sucking on lollipops which Hiroki found it odd that the man suddenly quit after a week and a half he had his emergency leave. But he didn't ask what made him decide to quit smoking.

He was there when they operated on him, he was holding his hand, and sucking on his lollipop, "You know you looked cute with that sucker on your mouth, after this, I would have something better for you to suck on." Shinobu said, and winked at him. Yo blushed deep, dark red, all the hospital staff snickered, the younger ones knew what the boy meant, since its so obvious what this man means to the boy.

If there was another choice, Yo would not want him to have that operation, the doctor told him something that made him weak. There might also a chance that Shinobu would not remember him, or he would not be the same as he was after this. He did not want the boy to changed, but the need for him to be better weighed more to Yo more than anything else.

"It's alright, doctor. Just give him back to me, no matter how he is, even if he didn't remember, I would still want him back." He replied.

He had whispered to him for the last time, before the boy had fallen into a deep sleep, "I love you, Shin. You are my only god, come back to me, and make me complete again. I would be waiting here for you." He said, and kissed him.

The operation was a success; the family was talking to the doctors while he waited in Shinobu's room. He was exhausted, he felt like a wire pulled to his limit. Everything was frozen to Yo, even the world has stopped revolving, waiting for Shinobu to wake up. Would everything be the same, he wondered.

Shinobu woke up some time later, his parents were sleeping on the other bed beside his, and Yo was sleeping by his bedside, clutching at his hand. He looked at the black hair and the head that was turned away from him, he was curious who could it be that has been sleeping beside him all along and holding his hand. He tried to pry his hand away, and Yo came alive and looked at him with a smile.

"You're awake. How do you feel?" he asked, overjoyed and almost cried seeing him awake.

"I'm fine, just feeling a little achy." He said, and untangled his hand away from Yo's. That simple gesture felt like the world was breaking, and he felt a tightening in his chest. "Where's my sister?" he asked, glancing at Yo like glancing at a complete stranger he hardly know.

Yo tried to smile as his face would crack, he got up on wobbly feet, he felt dizzy and having difficulty breathing. He wanted to run out before his tears would fall, but he tried to hold them back as much as he could.

"Oh, she's coming tomorrow; she couldn't get an earlier train. I would go wake up your parents now, they had been waiting for you. I am glad that you are okay. I-I'm your ex-brother-in-law, maybe you don't remember me," he said, and chuckling, it sounded hurt to him, but he had to masked his feelings. "Anyway, I just dropped in to see if your operation was a success, sorry, I must have dozed off." He said, and still have little hope, a little recognition but the look on Shinobu's face was breaking everything inside of him.

"That's good. Thank you for coming. You did not have to. But thank you." He said, with a light shrug of his shoulders, as if he could not wait for Yo to leave.

Yo managed to walk over to where his former in laws were sleeping and tapped the father's shoulder lightly.

"Sir, Shinobu is awake." He said, and the older man stirred and looked at Yo, he watched his face. And knew then what happened. He could feel his hurt in his eyes and his voice. He gripped the man's hand in his and patted him on the shoulder; he knew how much this man had suffered to get his only son to go through this operation.

"Thank you for everything, Yo. It would be alright, give it time." He said, as he got up and glanced over to the other bed, and smiled seeing that his son was all right.

Yo bowed slightly, "It's alright, sir. I would have done more; you know I do love him like he is my own." He commented, "Well, I should be going. "He said, and fished out a lollipop from his pocket, then glance at Shinobu once more. He watched him talked amiably to his father, and felt no recognition at all from him.

He threw the lollipop in the waste can, glanced once more at the boy._ I love you. To the point I cannot breathe, I think I'm drowning. _ He smiled at him for one last time, before he let the door close behind him. He saw the vending machine and took some coins from his pocket and got his old cigarette brand from the machine. He lighted it, and dragged on it for awhile, his tears started to fall, as the familiar smell of tobacco hit his senses.

He stood there in silence, as he finish his cigarette until his tears has stopped flowing and he could breath a little easier again.

The door opened, he glanced back, wondering if it was his father-in-law but it was Shinobu, he was holding on to the door frame. He stood frozen there, feeling a little guilty that he is smoking again when he promised the boy he would quit.

Shinobu sniffed the air as he glanced at him, "I remember telling you that you should quit that, and I remember you promising me you would." He said, smiling at Yo.

Yo made a sound at the back of his throat, but his feet wouldn't obey him, as he was continued to be glued in place. The boy scratched the bandaged on his head, "I don't remember much, but give me time, maybe I would. Father said that the operation was a success but there is a part of me that they had taken out, but father reminded me what I told him before the operation, and how close I was to you. I don't remember that. But maybe you would spend time with me, and remind me?" he said, his head titled to one side.

Yo chuckled and ran to him and captured him in his arms, he was crying and laughing at the same time, Shinobu wrinkled his nose, "But I didn't forget that I hated the smell of cigarette. So kiss me again next time when you stopped smoking again." He said, Yo laughed some more and nodded.

"I will. I owe you that, and you can punish me any which way you choose from breaking my promise to you. I need to redeem myself and be the person you once knew." He said, smiling.

"You don't need to change anything just for me; I think I would like you just the way you are. Except for the smoking though. For now I would let it pass, but there would be some consequences and punishment, you have to wait until I'm better and I will make you pay." Shinobu said, and standing at the tip of his toes, he kissed his cheek.

The time that was frozen began to move. "Can you trust me again one more time?" Yo asked.

"We have all the time in the world, you have to prove yourself to me once more, and you have to make me fall in love with you one more time." He said, and winked at him, "I'm sure that wouldn't be a hard task for a guy like you, right? After all, you had my sister then you had me too." He said, grinning mischievously.

"Yes, it wouldn't be hard; I got all the time in the world. I am your possession after all, you will be familiar with me in time, and claim me again. But I can wait, I had waited for you all my life, what is another week, another month, another year, I would wait another lifetime, if that is how long it's going to take." Yo said.

When he walked in his house, he fished out the cigarette he had bought from the vending machine at the hospital, and threw it in the trash. He started picking up clothes from the floor, he brought the shirt to his face and breath the scent in and smiled, he promised to redeem himself to Shinobu, he wondered why he ever doubt that their love wouldn't withstand anything, although the boy said he had forgotten about him, but still, he was overjoyed that he was willing to remember that part of his memory he had lost. During that time in his life, he believed love that is like fate was the only thing that only comes once in his lifetime, he thought that Shinobu missed his chance. And it was never going to find him again. Destiny is what we make, Yo said to himself, as he continued to gather clothes that were all over his house. He hated it at first, being a neat freak and the boy was like being a boy, used to having maids picked after him, but as time went on, he got used to it. Somehow, liked it. Liked seeing his stuff all over his house, as if he belonged here, he belonged to him, they belong to each other. He had made a promise to himself when he was holding Shinobu's hand during the operation, if he is allowed to make his own fate, he would make it to be Shinobu.

His hand….

His fate….

His destiny.

Owari


End file.
